Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore, Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words, Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore, Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words, Women that don't spend = Donkeys
To Conclude from Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have...Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend
money
Therefore...from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
MODERN MATHS - How man is different from Donkeys
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Venus and Mars ---- Very apart
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. :P
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. :P
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Good Jokes and PJs
1
Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, fogot laughter were called "Saints"
But now they are called.. "IT professionals"
2
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has fallen off"
3.
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that, One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many,
4.
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
5.
Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6.
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
7.
Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot
answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
9
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
10
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us
Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, fogot laughter were called "Saints"
But now they are called.. "IT professionals"
2
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has fallen off"
3.
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that, One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many,
4.
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
5.
Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6.
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
7.
Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot
answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
9
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
10
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
THE SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
INDIAN BRAIN
The Manager says: "Do you have any sales experience?"
The Indian says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."
The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"
Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"
Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sell him small fishhook. Then I sell him medium fishhook. Then I sell him large fishhook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.
The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"
Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."
The Indian says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."
The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"
Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"
Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sell him small fishhook. Then I sell him medium fishhook. Then I sell him large fishhook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.
The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"
Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."
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